


I Trust Your Promises

by SparklingSoul



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff, Grief/Mourning, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 17:59:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24210982
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SparklingSoul/pseuds/SparklingSoul
Summary: | Set at the beginning of 5x12 Freaks and Greeks| Zari’s still angry with John for siding with Astra in Ship Broken and he makes the brave decision to confront her about it.
Relationships: John Constantine/Zari Tomaz | Zari Tarazi
Comments: 15
Kudos: 58





	I Trust Your Promises

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to fill in the blanks a little between Zari being mad at John in Ship Broken and her looking at him while saying “I trust you all to being my baby brother back”. Sooo here ya go lmao

* * *

_  
"I sat with my anger long enough, until she told me her real name was grief."_

_-Issac Rowe_

* * *

  
  
"Well then, Legends, you better get your togas dry cleaned because _we_ are going Greek," Sara Lance announced with her usual amount of enthusiasm as she gave the Legends another one of her classic send offs. The Waverider captain may now be blind, but she accepted her new disability with grace and humility, not allowing it to shake her leadership skills in the slightest.

With the discouraging recent turn of events, the team was eager to have a new mission to help ease their minds. They had something to do again to actively help bring back Behrad. Not to mention this mission included the cheap, nostalgic thrills of college. It would be nice to dip their toes in the carefree atmosphere for a moment. 

"I know just what I'm gonna wear," Zari told Charlie with a small smirk.

"I got something in mind too, this is gonna be mad fun," the shapeshifter replied as they head off to the clothes fabricator to prepare for the mission.

Arms crossed, Astra Logue reluctantly followed.

John watched the Legends file out, his focus on Astra before shifting to the futuristic influencer. He sighed; Zari had been giving him the cold shoulder ever since they first tried to use the Loom of Fate, and he knew Astra had something to do with it.

* * *

A short time later, John found himself looking for Zari. _I don't know what's gotten into me_ he thought wryly. He couldn’t seem to get the damn girl off his mind.

When he arrived at Zari's room, he was relieved to find the door open. _At least she can't pretend she's not here._

His eyes fell on Zari, sitting at her desk as she finished applying makeup.And as she bent over the mirror to carefully put on a coat of mascara, her hair softly curled, cascading down like curtains, the warlock's mind blanked and he suddenly forgot where he was or what he came there to do. He swore she must be celestial, because how could something so beautiful and angelic be of this gruesome earth?

Unbeknownst to him, Zari had a clear view of John in the mirror. She dipped the mascara wand into the bottle before working on her other eye.

"Are you just gonna stand in my doorway like a creep, or are you going to tell me what you want?" She inquired.

Caught off guard, John coughed and felt his face heat up slightly, but he quickly covered his embarrassment with a smirk, "Just enjoying the view."

With a soft sigh, Zari carefully screwed the mascara wand back into the bottle and placed it down on the desk before she leveled her gaze at him.

"Do you really think we're on good enough terms for you to try to flirt with me?" her tone icy enough that John could've sworn he felt the room temperature drop, "Because, uh, we're not."

"Right," he sighed. Without an invitation, he walked into the room, making his way towards Zari.

She rolled her eyes, "Oh, by all means, come on in."

"Thanks," John replied, not missing a beat. Stuffing his hands in his pockets, he stood behind her.

Still, Zari didn't move to face him. Their eyes met in the mirror and she held his gaze.

"Zari."

"John."

_This is gonna be more difficult than I thought._

"I know you're not happy with me at the moment-"

"Oh, I didn't think you'd noticed," Zari interrupted.

"And I would like to sort things out," John continued, ignoring Zari's comment. "This is about my siding with Astra to use the Loom for her mother first, yeah?"

"Of course it's about that!" Zari snapped, spinning her chair around to face John. She was clearly insulted he even had to ask.

The sharpness in her eyes immediately surprised him, but he made no outward expression to indicate it.

"You made it very clear who you care more about when you chose to help Astra over Behrad," Zari's words slapped him in the face.

He winced at the tone of her voice, "Listen, you have to understand that-"

"Oh, I understand alright," Zari interrupted, "You don't value my brother's life as much as you value the life of that _bitch_ and her mother."

John was silent for a moment. He didn't look angry; in fact, he looked almost...sad. "Astra is the way she is because of me. She was just 9 years old when _my_ mistake sent her to hell. Her mother, whom I was very close to, went mad with grief to the point that she killed herself. That's on me, too.”

Zari couldn’t interrupt even if she wanted to; she was shocked that John was sharing so much with her. She also sensed the nagging feeling of shame beginning to claw its way at her insides. Shame that she’d allowed her anger to release itself as harsh words targeted at the man trying to mend his mistake.

“I've spent the last several years tormented by the guilt that I damned an innocent child to the worst fate imaginable- and I lost my best friend as well,” he continued, “Look, I know you don't understand it, and I'm not asking you to, but please respect my responsibility to Astra and her mother."

Zari was quiet as she thought John's words over. Maybe she had been wrong to say what she did. It was actually reasonable that he- no, _no_ , she didn't want his reasons to make sense. She wanted to be angry with him, she _needed_ to be angry with him.

"I just don't see how that responsibility comes at the cost of my brother and your friend,” she insisted.

"Zari, love, I promise you we'll still get Behrad back, if it's the last thing I do I'll-"

A sharp, bitter laugh from Zari interrupted him, "Oh, a lot of good your promises are. Look at where they've gotten Astra and her mother."

John quickly looked away, his jaw clenched, her words clearly cutting him deep. It was a low blow, and Zari closed her eyes, instantly wishing she could take her words back.

She reached out to take his hand, "Im sorry," she said quietly, "I shouldn't have said that. I didn't mean it, it's just that I-" Zari was shocked to find herself suddenly feeling choked up," I miss him."

John brought his gaze back to hers and she held it, taking a deep breath," I miss him so much. And it hurts. Really hurts..." She pinched her eyes shut to dam up a flood of tears. She didn't want to cry, especially not in front of John Constantine. Crying made her feelings real, made her vulnerable, made her weak. And Zari Tarazi was _not_ weak.

John's hand squeezing hers surprised her, and she looked up at him again. If her vision wasn't blurred by tears, she would've sworn she saw his own eyes moisten.

"I miss him, too."

And just like that, those four words spoken so softly and genuinely caused the walls Zari had tried so hard to keep up, to come crumbling down. A sob escaped her lips as grief overwhelmed her, tears spilling from her eyes. The outburst surprised her as much as it surprised John.

John stepped closer to her in comfort, an action which Zari welcomed as she desperately clung to his trench coat. As she let out her pent up emotions, John rubbed her back with one hand and stroked her head with the other.

"That's it, love," he spoke soothingly.

Zari didn't know how long they stayed like that, but she knew it was much needed. She hadn't allowed herself to cry since Behrad had first died. Eventually, she pulled away and reached for a tissue.

Catching a glimpse of herself in the mirror, with puffy red eyes and mascara streaked cheeks, Zari smiled wryly before turning back to John. "Guess I'll have to redo my makeup," she joked.

John cocked his head in mock thoughtfulness, "I don't know, I think it's an accurate college look."

Zari rolled her eyes and laughed softly.

Her gaze landed on his coat, stained with spots of tears and smudges of mascara. "Oh, no, I've made a mess of your coat!" she exclaimed out of both embarrassment and her genuine concern for the well-being of all clothes.

"Not to worry, I can fix it," she said, starting to look for a Tide stick, but John waved it off.

"That's alright, love. Nothing a simple washing won't take care of. Trust me, this old thing has been stained by the likes of much worse- namely demon blood." He reassured her.

She shook her head, smiling, "Of course."

A solemn expression came over Zari's face. "John, you know I don't," she hesitated, "I don't really blame you for Behrad's death. Not more than anyone else. You made a mistake. Out of desperation to save the lives of people you care about."

There was silence, and Zari took a deep breath. She spoke in a strong voice when she continued, "You made a mistake that any one of us could have easily made. I guess I just...needed someone else to blame."

The confession had been hard to admit, even to herself, but she felt relieved at its release.

"And I _do_ trust you," she added, "I trust that you're gonna keep your promise to Astra and me. You know that, right?"

"...yeah."

She smiled at him, relieved.

John smiled back, feeling a sense of release himself. He didn't know he'd needed to hear those words till Zari actually said them.

Shaking out of their sentimental moment, Zari clapped her hands together and stood up. "Well, I'd better finish getting ready for our mission."

"Yeah, yeah, I'll leave you to it then," he said, turning to go.

"John?" Zari called after him, after hesitating.

He turned back to her.

"Thank you."

She had said it with such genuine appreciation that John could only smile and nod in response.

The warlock left in humbled confusion. Zari had thanked _him_ , when he was sure she had just done more for him than anything his most sophisticated spells could ever do.

John Constantine made his way to the study with a stupid grin on his face as he had a moment of peace for the first time in years.


End file.
